Textures, articles of clothing that bring me comfort and style, good food as well as good relations with my family became important items for me in 2010. I said good-bye to my mother during this year and '10 as well as 1998, the year my father ran to the hills, will always be bittersweet, but also have provided such a vat of knowledge, energy, and love that of course these two years are very precious to me. And so I keep growing and learning, and building on what I've lost and gained, and gathered inbetween. I wish for you happiness, doing what you love, and knowing that wholeness is possible. It really is all about love and that means knowing who you are and what you need to be healthy, wealthy, and wise.
Happy New Year.
May you continue to discover your worth and infinite glow.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
Russell Roars
I haven't been holding true to my statement header that I will be tackling a different topic for every day of the week. Well, it's Monday and NYC and the tri state area is pretty landlocked by the last blizzard of '10, so let's just say I have a little time.
My Monday posts are to revolve around Russell, our cat since July 1999. He came with his "brother" Oscar, an orange cat that we adored and who died in 2007 from cancer. Russell is a black and white nervous cat who has become much more active in the household since Oscar's departure. Still rather skinny, he at least can eat freely now without Oscar batting him away and hogging the food.
Russell - as did Oscar - has a personality. He is stubborn. If he wants to sit by you, he will whether you like it or not. I don't mind him sitting by me unless I'm on my laptop as I am now and he wants to "dominate" it. He's also found his voice, but not in a healthy way. Two summers ago, my older daughter thought he might have fleas, so I went to the pet store across the street for a flea collar and the owner's teenage son was tending the register. He told me if my cat already had fleas a collar wouldn't help, so I asked him for a good flea medicine and he gave me a cream, instructing me to run the tube from Russell's nape of his neck down to the tip of his tail.
And I did.
Russell proceeded to turn and lick the cream off his lower back, immediately turning wild eyed and hissing at us (primarily my daughter). I found the telephone number on the carton of cream and called the company. A very nice woman talked to us and gasped when I relayed what I had done. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Just at the nape of the neck! Give him a bath right now and get it all off!" I did, my daughter and I pulling him out from under the bed, him hissing hysterically at her. Once it was over, he retreated back under the bed, and we waited the explained 24 hours to observe his recovery.
Finally, he emerged and became Russell again, but the use of his voice has stayed the same. He gives a low, guttural meow that sounds more like "owwwwww" followed by an even lower "raaaaaaaw," His acid trip voice has now meshed with his personality, and if I don't want him batting his head into my laptop, once I direct him off the couch, he leaves, yet staring at me with a slew of what must be curse words:
"Owwwwwwww, raaaaw, uhrumpf, growwwwl, raaawww, %$#&!"
Don't let your cats do drugs.
The pet store owner readily gave me my money back for the crazy cream, his eyes wide over the reality that his son could convey such improper information.
Russell never had fleas.
My Monday posts are to revolve around Russell, our cat since July 1999. He came with his "brother" Oscar, an orange cat that we adored and who died in 2007 from cancer. Russell is a black and white nervous cat who has become much more active in the household since Oscar's departure. Still rather skinny, he at least can eat freely now without Oscar batting him away and hogging the food.
Russell - as did Oscar - has a personality. He is stubborn. If he wants to sit by you, he will whether you like it or not. I don't mind him sitting by me unless I'm on my laptop as I am now and he wants to "dominate" it. He's also found his voice, but not in a healthy way. Two summers ago, my older daughter thought he might have fleas, so I went to the pet store across the street for a flea collar and the owner's teenage son was tending the register. He told me if my cat already had fleas a collar wouldn't help, so I asked him for a good flea medicine and he gave me a cream, instructing me to run the tube from Russell's nape of his neck down to the tip of his tail.
And I did.
Russell proceeded to turn and lick the cream off his lower back, immediately turning wild eyed and hissing at us (primarily my daughter). I found the telephone number on the carton of cream and called the company. A very nice woman talked to us and gasped when I relayed what I had done. "Oh no!" she exclaimed. "Just at the nape of the neck! Give him a bath right now and get it all off!" I did, my daughter and I pulling him out from under the bed, him hissing hysterically at her. Once it was over, he retreated back under the bed, and we waited the explained 24 hours to observe his recovery.
Finally, he emerged and became Russell again, but the use of his voice has stayed the same. He gives a low, guttural meow that sounds more like "owwwwww" followed by an even lower "raaaaaaaw," His acid trip voice has now meshed with his personality, and if I don't want him batting his head into my laptop, once I direct him off the couch, he leaves, yet staring at me with a slew of what must be curse words:
"Owwwwwwww, raaaaw, uhrumpf, growwwwl, raaawww, %$#&!"
Don't let your cats do drugs.
The pet store owner readily gave me my money back for the crazy cream, his eyes wide over the reality that his son could convey such improper information.
Russell never had fleas.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
It Just Feels Right
I bought a new coat. My old one, a peacoat I purchased at Old Navy literally was threadbare. But I loved it. I loved the way it felt and buttoned, and looked on me. But this season, it was time. So I went on a coat search with my daughter, Sarah. First, it was Burlington Coat Factory. The sight of wall to wall coats was overwhelming. For a second I couldn't breathe, and Sarah went to the other side of the store to let me look. I think she was a bit afraid after seeing the look on my face. Later, she returned, and we went through every row of coats. Finally, I was ready to buy anything just to get out of there! And then, Sarah took me by the arm and we went to T.J. Maxx and there she handed me coat after coat, as I yanked on ones I'd found, too.
And then, I slipped on a wool coat that had an incredible collar and set of buttons to keep my neck safe from brutal northern winds. And the coat was styled much like my worn out favorite. I put it on and smiled, really smiled and told Sarah "this is it!" She came out from the rack she'd attached herself to and stared blankly at me. "Really?" she asked, shocked and relieved. "Yes! I love it!" I exclaimed.
"It's Calvin Kline, too," she said, smiling wryly, knowing the label "whore" I am known to be.
And that was the cherry on the top!
And then, I slipped on a wool coat that had an incredible collar and set of buttons to keep my neck safe from brutal northern winds. And the coat was styled much like my worn out favorite. I put it on and smiled, really smiled and told Sarah "this is it!" She came out from the rack she'd attached herself to and stared blankly at me. "Really?" she asked, shocked and relieved. "Yes! I love it!" I exclaimed.
"It's Calvin Kline, too," she said, smiling wryly, knowing the label "whore" I am known to be.
And that was the cherry on the top!
Monday, December 13, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Friday, I'm in Love: Fantasy of the Week
The weather is just as it is today. I'm in a room, painted a soft yellow with windows circling the room. I'm sitting at a thick oak desk with my laptop in front of me, and on the other side is a vase with red, yellow, and white flowers with greenery.
I am deep into a story I am writing. If someone were to walk into the room, I wouldn't realize it. The soundtrack to a movie is playing and I am writing as fast as I can.
There is a green sofa across the room from me. On the opposite side of the room is a gigantic framed poster of Georgia O'Keeffe's artwork.
It's an old Brownstone I live in and I own it. I'm on the top floor, writing, happy as a pig in mud. Later, I will go downstairs to prepare my dinner, watch a little TV, go for a walk, and call my daughters. It's going to storm soon. I like a candle as evening draws closer and decide to push on so I pull a sweater around me. I've got a couple more hours of writing in me before I call it a day.
I am deep into a story I am writing. If someone were to walk into the room, I wouldn't realize it. The soundtrack to a movie is playing and I am writing as fast as I can.
There is a green sofa across the room from me. On the opposite side of the room is a gigantic framed poster of Georgia O'Keeffe's artwork.
It's an old Brownstone I live in and I own it. I'm on the top floor, writing, happy as a pig in mud. Later, I will go downstairs to prepare my dinner, watch a little TV, go for a walk, and call my daughters. It's going to storm soon. I like a candle as evening draws closer and decide to push on so I pull a sweater around me. I've got a couple more hours of writing in me before I call it a day.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Feed the World
No roast pork buns in Queens today! |
I love the USA because all over this Country everyone has the opportunity to find a community place to sit and eat a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. It is my wish to all who do to have a beautiful moment, and it is also my desire that we find it in us to give this way year round. When we do, riches and abundance will become evident to us. Even if it is simply whispering a blessing to someone who is in need.
Next Thursday, back to Flushing, Queens and my ladies at the memoir group and a roast pork bun, maybe two. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Whaddya Want Wednesday: What I'm Cooking Up This Week
Harlem's 125th Street |
What are you cooking up this week?
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Exquisite is as Exquisite Does
I realized it as I rode the 6 train, reading "The Law of Least Effort," a chapter in Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success," and there it was, and I quote:
"Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently -- if you stop fighting and resisting -- you will fully experience the present, which is a gift."
Earlier before I boarded the train, I told the angels and my higher self that I relinquish all control. "Please guide me and show me the way. I have tried to control this scene long enough. I give it all to you."
And after saying this and reading that, I got off the train and saw this: the stained glass at the Westchester/E. Tremont stop on the 6 train in the Bronx.
I knew this was my exquisite find.
"If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free." - Deepak Chopra
I knew I'd found what I'd been searching for and what I had released and given out into the universe. Now, I was lighter, more free, and staying in the present. A true gift.
"Completely desist from defending your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you do not allow the birth of an argument. If you do this consistently -- if you stop fighting and resisting -- you will fully experience the present, which is a gift."
Earlier before I boarded the train, I told the angels and my higher self that I relinquish all control. "Please guide me and show me the way. I have tried to control this scene long enough. I give it all to you."
My find. |
I knew this was my exquisite find.
"If you embrace the present and become one with it, and merge with it, you will experience a fire, a glow, a sparkle of ecstasy throbbing in every living sentient being. As you begin to experience this exultation of spirit in everything that is alive, as you become intimate with it, joy will be born within you, and you will drop the burdens and encumbrances of defensiveness, resentment, and hurtfulness. Only then will you become lighthearted, carefree, joyous, and free." - Deepak Chopra
I knew I'd found what I'd been searching for and what I had released and given out into the universe. Now, I was lighter, more free, and staying in the present. A true gift.
Inquisitive for the Exquisite
Two posts today. I officially start today with my daily postings aimed at specific senses and sightings. Today is Saturday so that means finding something exquisite. I'm excited. I will post my find. If it's anything like the very real and symbolic dream I just awoke from, I am in for an adventure.
Opening my eyes, I am going to stay awake and aware to find my exquisite gift. They are always there, always available, always waving in the wind. Hope you find yours today. Only you will know what it is as will I.
Opening my eyes, I am going to stay awake and aware to find my exquisite gift. They are always there, always available, always waving in the wind. Hope you find yours today. Only you will know what it is as will I.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Open for Business: Taking it to the Eccentric Limit
I just was given a marvelous suggestion by a good writer friend, Anna Limontas Salisbury, who ever so gently took me by the collar and told me to get to writing! Amen. And she said it in a fun way that has sparked my interests. I am a "lists" girl and her idea to write about certain topics on certain days really lit my fire. So here goes, before I head over to Queens to lead an ESL evening group, I will determine what I shall write in this blog on each day of the week, and then, in conjunction with my other blog, Swimming Free, I will do this every day.
Sensory Wholeness Day by Day Topic for each Week:
Sunday - 4, 5, 6 Borough Trotter. Since I am a tutor in the Bronx on the weekends and I live in Brooklyn, it takes me an hour and a half to get there and back. I literally move from the tip of Brookyn to nearly the furthest tip of the Bronx. The crowds of the train cars change with certain stations and I will tell you what it feels like, smells like, and looks like.
Monday, Monday.Russell aka Catcow, my black and white cat's adventures with me home for the morning and afternoon.
Ruby knees-knockin' Tuesday -Sitting at a bar in a restaurant by myself and ordering take out. Forcing myself to learn to make small talk.
Whaddaya want Wednesdays? What I'm cooking up to eat for the week.
Thursday - Roast Pork Buns on the 7 Train. Out to Flushing for my memoir workshop, each Thursday I eat a roast pork bun or two while out on the tip of Queens.
Friday - "Friday, I'm in love!" My fantasy of the week.
Saturday's Search - Finding something exquisite.
There you have it. Thank you, Anna. I'm learning to listen and I heard you and the Universe loud and clear.
Wheee!
Sensory Wholeness Day by Day Topic for each Week:
Sunday - 4, 5, 6 Borough Trotter. Since I am a tutor in the Bronx on the weekends and I live in Brooklyn, it takes me an hour and a half to get there and back. I literally move from the tip of Brookyn to nearly the furthest tip of the Bronx. The crowds of the train cars change with certain stations and I will tell you what it feels like, smells like, and looks like.
Monday, Monday.Russell aka Catcow, my black and white cat's adventures with me home for the morning and afternoon.
Ruby knees-knockin' Tuesday -Sitting at a bar in a restaurant by myself and ordering take out. Forcing myself to learn to make small talk.
Whaddaya want Wednesdays? What I'm cooking up to eat for the week.
Thursday - Roast Pork Buns on the 7 Train. Out to Flushing for my memoir workshop, each Thursday I eat a roast pork bun or two while out on the tip of Queens.
Friday - "Friday, I'm in love!" My fantasy of the week.
Saturday's Search - Finding something exquisite.
There you have it. Thank you, Anna. I'm learning to listen and I heard you and the Universe loud and clear.
Wheee!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Putting it All Together
Received a new camera for my birthday and here is my first humble movie. Oh what fun this was!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Look Ma! I'm Swimming!
I wrote for two hours! I got lost in it! And I will do the same tomorrow before heading out to Boston to spend Sarah's birthday with her!
I did it!
And there's plenty more where that came from.
I did it!
And there's plenty more where that came from.
Come Inside to Home
Mi Casa |
Loving texture. |
Dream Big. |
Friday, October 29, 2010
Sonia Choquette, Ph.D., is Magnificent
Want to feel whole? Then, it is vital to learn to forgive. In order to gain wholeness, forgiveness is the gateway to love, and love is what we are made from and are. Here are 12 steps by Sonia Choquette who you can listen to on Hay House Radio or check out her website, ConsciousOne.com/SoniaChoquette.com. She is the real deal.
• | Don't take anything personally |
• | Don't attack yourself for mistakes |
• | Claim the gifts hidden in perceived injuries |
• | Take responsibility for the part you play in upset and injury |
• | See all events as opportunities to grow and mature your soul |
• | Forgive yourself first |
• | Pray for help in forgiving |
• | Develop a strong sense of humor |
• | Re-commit to your goals and get back on track |
• | Count your blessings |
• | Stop rehashing past injuries and don't talk about them any more |
• | Talk about today's positive event |
Friday, October 1, 2010
Same Sex Love is Real and Part of Humanity
When every culture accepts same sex love and marriage, the World will spin at a more harmonious speed.
Dedicated to everyone currently who must live half a life because of ignorance and hatred.
Dedicated to everyone currently who must live half a life because of ignorance and hatred.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
"I want you to look in the mirror three times a day until your reflection screams back how great you are!" - Suze Orman, The Spirit of Wealth, Hay House Radio
While attending a John Holland workshop, I showed him this photo..."Spirit lights!" he said. |
When I was young, I was very happy, bubbling happiness. As I grew, I grew more withdrawn because of my truth telling about my emotions; what I was feeling. "You're too sensitive," I was told. "You are thin-skinned," also came at me a lot. So I started not to trust my feelings. My feelings must be bad, I subconsciously and consciously began to think. And when that happens, self hatred is close.
Now I know my emotions and feelings are my power and I mine my thoughts like a California 49er. My intuition and sensitivities are right. There are no mistakes in the Universe. We are one glorious mathematical calculation and I am getting the right answers now.
A+ for me.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Meet me at 3...don't be late.
I sat in Barnes and Noble yesterday in the early evening and read an interview on Alice Walker. She said if you want to write, well, what she does is she makes a tea date, as though a friend or associate were coming. And then she shows up. If you don't show up, why should the tea guest?
I feel eternal gratefulness for people who can take the abstract and anchor it to commonsense, commonplace.
A body of work, one teabag at a time.
Brilliant.
I feel eternal gratefulness for people who can take the abstract and anchor it to commonsense, commonplace.
A body of work, one teabag at a time.
Brilliant.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Sluggish or Closed Chakras Affect Your Life
Last Sunday I attended an all-day workshop led by John Holland http://www.johnholland.com/ and it involved eight hours of laughter, information, and actual experience into awakening my psychic abilities. While at this workshop, I realized my chakra energy centers needed some attention and so I created images to associate with my chakras.
Here they are:
Crown: a purple crown with a beam of white light rising from the top of my head toward the sky.
Third Eye: an indigo telescope that I can open and close and see into the other dimensions.
Throat: a turquoise ocean below a turquoise sky that keeps my voice clear and strong.
Heart: a green apple coursing fresh energy to and from my heart.
Solar Plexus: a big yellow flower popping through my belly button, its petals waving. I can make it as big as I want and often I laugh, imagining it as wide as the area I am standing and I feel my personal power through this flower.
Sacral: a juicy orange, reminding me of my physical sexuality and fabulous nature.
Spine or base: a red stop sign, reminding me to STOP darting about and focus. Stay grounded. Dig those roots deep into the earth.
John told us to think of our chakras as batteries for our soul. I intend to keep mine charged and twirling from now on. Think of spinning wheels.
We are, afterall, energy and linked to physical and auric bodies. There is so much support and resources inside us, ready to provide a happy and joyous life. Always, always, always there are solutions swirling inside us.
I've left Bethlehem and I feel free...I've left the girl I was supposed to be and some day I'll be born. ~Paula Cole
Here they are:
Crown: a purple crown with a beam of white light rising from the top of my head toward the sky.
Third Eye: an indigo telescope that I can open and close and see into the other dimensions.
Throat: a turquoise ocean below a turquoise sky that keeps my voice clear and strong.
Heart: a green apple coursing fresh energy to and from my heart.
Solar Plexus: a big yellow flower popping through my belly button, its petals waving. I can make it as big as I want and often I laugh, imagining it as wide as the area I am standing and I feel my personal power through this flower.
Sacral: a juicy orange, reminding me of my physical sexuality and fabulous nature.
Spine or base: a red stop sign, reminding me to STOP darting about and focus. Stay grounded. Dig those roots deep into the earth.
John told us to think of our chakras as batteries for our soul. I intend to keep mine charged and twirling from now on. Think of spinning wheels.
We are, afterall, energy and linked to physical and auric bodies. There is so much support and resources inside us, ready to provide a happy and joyous life. Always, always, always there are solutions swirling inside us.
I've left Bethlehem and I feel free...I've left the girl I was supposed to be and some day I'll be born. ~Paula Cole
Friday, September 10, 2010
Blue skies tell the story
The treetop view from my apartment in Brooklyn. |
Tomorrow the names will be read, the bells rung, and our hearts will ache all over again. I will be in Boston with my daughter. This will be my first 9/11 not in NYC. At the exact time I am writing this blog to you, I see that it is also the time when the first plane hit. It has caused our Country to come unglued, yet we will survive on many levels and manners. Hatred, we will find is never the answer nor is revenge. Love is our salvation. A continuous baptism of the heart.
http://www.messagesbook.com/
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Touching Upon the Release Button
The only way I learn concepts and procedures is to write them down and follow them time and time again until the paper is disintegrating. Such a process served me very nicely while learning the trade of bank telling and retail. What I've forgotten with spirituality is to do the same instead of reaching randomly for truths I know here and there in distress or discomfort. Routine is important and I feel my guides, the angels, and my loved ones already crossed, elbowing me to remember. They are tired of watching me veg out in front of the television, biting my fingernails, and removing myself more and more from Source. Oh, the slaps on the foreheads in frustration they must experience! Yet each day, I become more receptive to my higher self and all this tremendous help. And I accept.
Release the resistance. Release the resistance. Release the resistance runs through my head today, stabilizing in my heart, and activating my direction. For you see, it is not that I am going blank as much as pulling away from the fullness, the entirety, the full plate of choices and projects in front of me. I become frozen by the next steps. Fear of failure (or success) has become a good bully.
There is no need to fight the feeling, though, or even to try to outwork it. Dissolve it like we used to pour Coca Cola over spilled honey in the grocery store check out line. Dissolve it with this statement: I release the resistance. Say it a million times, if you must. Feel the sensations to result. Spirit is always willing. For me, it involves baby steps. And each day, this toddler is picking up the pace, teetering toward joy.
I've shown the bully to the door and made friends with Sheela. No blame. No shame. Just gain. I'm learning to release the resistance and to accept the help. It always has been there. And it always has come from me.
Release the resistance. Release the resistance. Release the resistance runs through my head today, stabilizing in my heart, and activating my direction. For you see, it is not that I am going blank as much as pulling away from the fullness, the entirety, the full plate of choices and projects in front of me. I become frozen by the next steps. Fear of failure (or success) has become a good bully.
There is no need to fight the feeling, though, or even to try to outwork it. Dissolve it like we used to pour Coca Cola over spilled honey in the grocery store check out line. Dissolve it with this statement: I release the resistance. Say it a million times, if you must. Feel the sensations to result. Spirit is always willing. For me, it involves baby steps. And each day, this toddler is picking up the pace, teetering toward joy.
I've shown the bully to the door and made friends with Sheela. No blame. No shame. Just gain. I'm learning to release the resistance and to accept the help. It always has been there. And it always has come from me.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
These Dreams
Last night or early this morning, I had a dream that was tangled up in emotions. It was like watching a movie and I was telling "someone" beside me what I saw. There were scenes with my daughters as little girls, and I saw them speaking, moving, and yet not in any landmarks or surroundings I could identify. It truly was a movie. I also was in there, in other scenes, and when I awoke, my belly felt the effects of the struggle. Not physically, but I could tell my ongoing quest to open my solar plexus chakra was affected. I asked Archangel Michael to dissolve any webs around me, releasing me from the chaos of old emotions, regrets, anger, and dismay.
I feel better.
The answers are inside and found when asleep and awake. Time to live.
Dedicated to my daughters....
I feel better.
The answers are inside and found when asleep and awake. Time to live.
Dedicated to my daughters....
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Expansion
Excerpt from "Matri: Letters from the Mother"...by Zoe Ann Nicholson
Stop your thought. Open your heart to me. My balancing and unifying energy will come from within you. As you practice, your life will be filled with energy and grace. I will step forward and reveal your powers and your tasks in perfect order. They will be shown from within and at your own pace. You will have the information and energy as needs arise.
You do not have to seek lessons; they will cross your path in natural order. Those who need your compassion will present themselves to your life. Those for whom you are responsible will find their way to you. You must stand strong, observe the opposition, practice compassion, and seek the center. Offer to them what they do not have and is within your power to give. As your giving expands, so will your energy. It will be me working through you. It will be us working together to bring the world into balance.
Stop your thought. Open your heart to me. My balancing and unifying energy will come from within you. As you practice, your life will be filled with energy and grace. I will step forward and reveal your powers and your tasks in perfect order. They will be shown from within and at your own pace. You will have the information and energy as needs arise.
You do not have to seek lessons; they will cross your path in natural order. Those who need your compassion will present themselves to your life. Those for whom you are responsible will find their way to you. You must stand strong, observe the opposition, practice compassion, and seek the center. Offer to them what they do not have and is within your power to give. As your giving expands, so will your energy. It will be me working through you. It will be us working together to bring the world into balance.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Giving and Receiving
He spoke to me as I opened the door to go into the bank. "Excuse me, Miss, but could I talk to you?" "No thank you," I said, abruptly, startled by the ease at which I could dismiss him. Approaching the bank's ATM machine, I watched him walk past and away. Later, on the street, I would see him again, this time going in the opposite direction as me. "Thank you for not helping me," he said or I thought is what I heard.
I stopped and watched him walk away. Something told me he was not asking for money only, but was asking for more. "Hey!" I yelled to him. He stopped. "Come here," I asked of him. He returned and as he did, I noticed he was young, maybe my daughters' ages, maybe younger, and he had a large overgrowth on both sides of his neck. Frighteningly wide. His neck looked developed like a football player's stuck on top of a regular-sized body of a young man. His lips were patchy white.
I asked him what did he want to talk to me about? He said he was raising money to put out a cd of his music. "So you want me to make a donation?" I asked. "Yes," he said, holding a plastic bag. "What is in there?" I asked. And out he pulled sheets of paper with pencil drawings on them. "Did you do these?" I asked. "Yes," he said. I went into my purse, and withdrew $10. "Let me buy one," I said, and he looked at me, a glimmer of light returning to his eyes.
I choose the one you see in the picture. He took the money and thanked me. Soon after we parted I'd wished I had told him that it might be better to get a folding table and to sit there with his drawings and a sign, explaining what he was trying to do. But he was gone. And so was my opportunity.
I walked on to my destination, praying he was still walking up and down the sidewalk by the time I returned, but I have not seen him again. I have his picture, though. I have a piece of him, and I feel better with his creativity in my presence.
I stopped and watched him walk away. Something told me he was not asking for money only, but was asking for more. "Hey!" I yelled to him. He stopped. "Come here," I asked of him. He returned and as he did, I noticed he was young, maybe my daughters' ages, maybe younger, and he had a large overgrowth on both sides of his neck. Frighteningly wide. His neck looked developed like a football player's stuck on top of a regular-sized body of a young man. His lips were patchy white.
I asked him what did he want to talk to me about? He said he was raising money to put out a cd of his music. "So you want me to make a donation?" I asked. "Yes," he said, holding a plastic bag. "What is in there?" I asked. And out he pulled sheets of paper with pencil drawings on them. "Did you do these?" I asked. "Yes," he said. I went into my purse, and withdrew $10. "Let me buy one," I said, and he looked at me, a glimmer of light returning to his eyes.
I choose the one you see in the picture. He took the money and thanked me. Soon after we parted I'd wished I had told him that it might be better to get a folding table and to sit there with his drawings and a sign, explaining what he was trying to do. But he was gone. And so was my opportunity.
I walked on to my destination, praying he was still walking up and down the sidewalk by the time I returned, but I have not seen him again. I have his picture, though. I have a piece of him, and I feel better with his creativity in my presence.
Monday, August 9, 2010
You have Everything
Breath. The only thing that separates you from this life and eternal life is your breath. How often do you feel the breath coming in and out of you? Take a moment. Right now. Feel your lungs bringing in the air, exhaling it. Shallow air is just that. Breathe deep and feel the life, this life, inside you, moving you, sustaining you.
Breathe easy and know you are loved, cared for, and carry with you all the answers.
Breathe easy and know you are loved, cared for, and carry with you all the answers.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Monday, July 26, 2010
Safe Home
I went back to West Texas, my home of 30 years, to help my sister clutter clean, arrange, organize, and remove the last of our parents' things. We worked in her garage and the bedroom our mother stayed in for nearly four years at my sister's house. Many trips were made to Goodwill and when my sister drove me to the airport early Sunday morning, we still had a plastic bag of our mother's many eyeglasses in the front seat, going to an eye vision shop for charity. The night before I sat in my mother's room, wondering once again, as I had after her funeral, how I was ever going to be able to leave? And on this night I also felt the weight of the decades of history my sister and I had just revisited for those days. I felt each layer of my youth stinging with memory and grief.
How to let go?
I noticed a little photo book my sister said I'd given to my mother years ago. I opened it to flip through it. And there on the last page was a photo of my parents at the front door of their home, preparing to leave. In the photo they are waving, and suddenly I knew this was a sign to me from them that it was okay to move on. They were okay and they knew I was hurting. I stared at that photo late into the night. I am staring at it now.
It is a beautiful indication of the everlasting connection we have to each other. It is okay to move on because we are never apart.
Dedicated to Nancy and Reed Hastings
How to let go?
I noticed a little photo book my sister said I'd given to my mother years ago. I opened it to flip through it. And there on the last page was a photo of my parents at the front door of their home, preparing to leave. In the photo they are waving, and suddenly I knew this was a sign to me from them that it was okay to move on. They were okay and they knew I was hurting. I stared at that photo late into the night. I am staring at it now.
It is a beautiful indication of the everlasting connection we have to each other. It is okay to move on because we are never apart.
Dedicated to Nancy and Reed Hastings
Sunday, July 18, 2010
You know how it is at a wedding: you see the wedding cake and the mouth starts watering. Eating with friends in celebration is a wonderful sensory experience. Whether you're the one getting married or attending, it is a delicious occasion. No matter what happens at the function, the cake tastes sweet, and if you're lucky, get to take a slice or two home.
I love that commercial that states, "Celebrate the moments of your life."
I love that commercial that states, "Celebrate the moments of your life."
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Blue Heaven
I am tactile by nature. The way something feels upon touch means a lot to me. Which is why I found great joy when I pulled out the retro pale blue duvet and pillow cover I purchased online. I liked the color and the pattern, but once I ran my hands over the pillow cover, oh, heaven! I find myself carrying the pillow with me from bedroom to living room. If I were a child, it would be my security blanket. I respond to its texture and feel.
Surround yourself with tactile satisfaction.
Surround yourself with tactile satisfaction.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Work that Touches Your Core
Last November, I took on work as an assistant at an inn in Brooklyn. The owner, a husband and wife team, operated the five room, four full floor apartment business out of two Victorian buildings. I answered the help wanted ad on Craigslist because a) I needed more income, and b) the idea of working at a bed and breakfast type establishment connected with several needs and passions inside me. I interviewed for the position and Marcie was resistant to hiring me because a) I was way over qualified, and b) not a college girl as she was used to hiring for such a position. But something about my persistence and desire to work in such a setting inspired her to give me a try. Since then I've gone on to tutoring at Mercy College, and this summer, I'm adding to my skill set as an ESL instructor, plus I have my own business: Workshops by Wolford, and I'm writing.
Marcie has hired on another assistant, but she calls me when there's a gap in schedules. She's even asked me to manage her buildings for nearly two weeks while she and her family are on vacation. I agreed, and am on duty now until July 10.
And I love it.
Yesterday was my first day and I was nervous. But soon, I realized it brought together my previous skills such as good customer service, event planning, time management, and managing staff. I arrived at 9 in the morning and left after 8. I liked scheduling the arrivals and departures of guests for the two weeks. The time went fast and even though the assistant had a conflict and I ended up cleaning three rooms, still, I felt refreshed and accomplished when I picked up my handbag and locked Marcie's office.
Today I am taking in flowers and will have fresh ones there for Marcie's arrival on the 11th. The assistant committed to steady work with me for the duration, and I'm picking up more cleaning supplies on my way in, and then dropping off the sheets at the laundry and retrieving the clean ones.
It is not my career, but it fits my dynamics. I like straightening up a room. I like making people feel comfortable in a new environment. I like making lists. And I like seeing flowers in a vase sitting on the table when I arrive to do it all again.
Do what feels good to you and watch what else it brings!
Marcie has hired on another assistant, but she calls me when there's a gap in schedules. She's even asked me to manage her buildings for nearly two weeks while she and her family are on vacation. I agreed, and am on duty now until July 10.
And I love it.
Yesterday was my first day and I was nervous. But soon, I realized it brought together my previous skills such as good customer service, event planning, time management, and managing staff. I arrived at 9 in the morning and left after 8. I liked scheduling the arrivals and departures of guests for the two weeks. The time went fast and even though the assistant had a conflict and I ended up cleaning three rooms, still, I felt refreshed and accomplished when I picked up my handbag and locked Marcie's office.
Today I am taking in flowers and will have fresh ones there for Marcie's arrival on the 11th. The assistant committed to steady work with me for the duration, and I'm picking up more cleaning supplies on my way in, and then dropping off the sheets at the laundry and retrieving the clean ones.
It is not my career, but it fits my dynamics. I like straightening up a room. I like making people feel comfortable in a new environment. I like making lists. And I like seeing flowers in a vase sitting on the table when I arrive to do it all again.
Do what feels good to you and watch what else it brings!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
"I'd rather have roses on my table, than diamonds on my neck." - Emma Goldman
One reason I love living in NYC are the flowers available 24/7! Yesterday, I picked up a bouquet of Pink Starlight Lillies for $10 and each time I look at them or smell them, my heart lifts. If you aren't living in an area that has an abundance of flowers for sale for cheap, plant some of your own. And as they grow, bend down and take in the fragrance. You are bound to feel better. Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: "Earth laughs in flowers."
When I first moved here, I noticed the flower stands in front of the delis. Soon, it became a habit to buy a bouquet on each pay day. I no longer wait for them to be given to me. I buy them, cut the stems, and arrange them. And then I stare at them, snip them at the base of the flower when they are past their prime; let them float in a clear bowl of water. And even then, when I must dispose of them, consider drying them. I mourn the demise of my flowers.
But there is always another stand at the end of another block awaiting me.
When I first moved here, I noticed the flower stands in front of the delis. Soon, it became a habit to buy a bouquet on each pay day. I no longer wait for them to be given to me. I buy them, cut the stems, and arrange them. And then I stare at them, snip them at the base of the flower when they are past their prime; let them float in a clear bowl of water. And even then, when I must dispose of them, consider drying them. I mourn the demise of my flowers.
But there is always another stand at the end of another block awaiting me.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Just a Place to Have Fun
You know, I upload You Tube videos on my Facebook page nearly every night. I'm drawn to tasty food. I love good and interesting aromas from perfume to flowers to spice and nature. I watch clouds, birds, people, and trees. There is nothing I love more than the touch of fabrics and various textures. And most of all, I am discovering an interest in developing my sixth sense.
So there you have it. Here within the six senses I am building this blog in order to have a place to play - as happy as children in a sandbox - I will present what I love through these senses. I hope you will enjoy it, participate, comment, and share your thrill of senses, too.
How fun, yes?
Here we go. Today, I'd like to present a video by Corrine Bailey. She shows her passion and joy in doing what she loves, and isn't it lovely to listen?
So there you have it. Here within the six senses I am building this blog in order to have a place to play - as happy as children in a sandbox - I will present what I love through these senses. I hope you will enjoy it, participate, comment, and share your thrill of senses, too.
How fun, yes?
Here we go. Today, I'd like to present a video by Corrine Bailey. She shows her passion and joy in doing what she loves, and isn't it lovely to listen?
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