Take a Walk on the Child Side

Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the
handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.
-- Henry Ward Beecher

Oh how I wanted to post last night, but had to rest. This morning, I happily return to tell you about my walk on Monday. I'd been inside the apartment since Saturday, so it was time to get out and move my legs. Snow mixed with rain was expected last evening and the air was thick with cold.

First, I walked to the bank in my neighborhood. A very tall woman, possibly a man was inside opening the door for anyone needing to enter the 24-hour ATM section. I'd seen her before. She was hoping for any change those banking could give. I am tempted each time to tell her how that might not be the most opportune place to ask for money - as odd as it seems - because any cash withdrawn is at its minimum a $20 bill and as generous as I can be, have not risen to feeling comfortable handing that out, yet.

I have never given her money, and quite honestly, feel bad about it. And even more direct, I am judging her. She has an anger about her that tells me she knows she could manifest what she needs, yet there is a strong resistance. She is articulate and able. I want to tell her how talented I suspect she is, but I grow timid and simply tell her, "thank you" as she opens the bank door for me to leave. I want to tell her I know how she feels, but dependency never wins or provides what you think it will.

Next, I went to retrieve my laundry. Yes, at 55, I have stopped schlepping my laundry to the laundromat and physically washing and drying it. I drop it off and pick it up, happy as a pig in mud. It costs about $8 more than if I stayed and did it myself, but the freedom it provides is worth it. I began doing this when I had only one day off, and time on that free day became very important. It is a luxury, and one I value and choose to fold into my budget. I always tip, too.

Finally, I went to the grocery store and bought pie crust, cat food, and pasta sauce. I had baked three chicken cutlets the day before and planned to dice half and make a robust amount of chicken pot pie with lots of vegetables. Walking home, I swung my little bag of goods and felt the icy breeze. I was back in Michigan, walking on the thick ice of Lake Huron. Images of my youth are resurfacing and I eagerly welcome them. I know a rebirth is occurring inside me, and I am thankful.

This morning I awoke at 3:23 as I've been doing for the last few weeks before falling back asleep. I looked in Doreen Virtue's Angel Book of Numbers and turns out 323 is a message from the angels that my "childlike faith" is recognized by the ascended masters who are by my side to help me fulfill my dreams.

The cold air of yesterday invigorates me just as much as does today's and reminds me of the ever newness of life; to find my center, and to humbly carry on. Most of all, have the faith of a child and relax to the wonders of the awakening.